Discouraged.

An update with some gory details.


Pretty much since Friday night I've been going downhill. I long for the days where I just didn't go to the bathroom at all. Starting Saturday I've been in and out of the bathroom with stomach cramps and the whole deal. Last night was the worst, every two hours the stomach cramps would wake me up. Finally around 4 or 5am I was able to just solidly sleep. I knew I must have been tired, because I didn't even hear or wake up for Colin going to work. My body hurts, just like all my muscles are so sore. Luckily, no body aches (like the flu) just soreness. I still have some appetite, but knowing what happens after I eat has prevented me from eating much at all.

It's put a pretty big damper on my attitude. I had to cancel plans today. For this last two weeks the main thing that's kept me going is knowing I get to see my family in California for Christmas. I was so excited and counting down the days until we left. And now with everything flarring up it's totally made me dread having to drive down there. Being in the car for ten hours is so hard on my body.

I'm tired of having days ruined. I don't want to sit (rather lay) on the couch another day. I want to be outside, interacting with other people and leading my life like a normal person, rather than planning everything around this.

So today, is not such a good day. In case it didn't come across already to you, I'm feeling pretty depressed and discouraged.